


Not to Be Confused With Conjunctivitis

by arcaladiwoompa



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25595761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcaladiwoompa/pseuds/arcaladiwoompa
Summary: Stupid headcanon: Kurapika’s eyes turn bubblegum / Barbie doll / little girl in a tutu pink when he’s turned on.Corollary to the stupid headcanon: he’s just as out of control as when his eyes are scarlet.Set in a vague York Shin AU where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 16
Kudos: 65





	Not to Be Confused With Conjunctivitis

It wasn’t when he nearly threw himself overboard reaching for Gon. It wasn’t when he ran shirtless up a skyscraper worth of stairs- although he has to admit that was a bit of a nice distraction from his legs turning to lead and his lungs that felt like they were burning octane instead of air. It was when he woke up from a fever dream seeing almost nothing else in the darkened room but Leorio’s worried frown. Boom. Shot through the heart. Or was that the weight of Leorio’s arm on his chest, refusing to let him get up? 

It’s all a bit hazy, other than the guilty little fact that he almost wants to get sick all over again. Or fake it, like a petulant child trying to get out of school. Leorio would see through it instantly. Kurapika will be one step ahead of him. 

_You’re not sick, you liar. Your temperature is totally normal._

Oh yes he is, he will argue. He’s loves- no. That is the _worst_ line he could have possibly come up with. There has to be a more eloquent way to confess. Maybe it’s time to lay off the advanced metallurgy textbooks and pick up some beach reading for inspiration. 

Or- he’ll reach up for his hand and say, _But you haven’t even listened to my heartbeat._ It would even give him an excuse to take his shirt off-

“Kurapika? Is there a reason why your heart is hammering like the anvil chorus from Il Trovatore?” 

That was too on the nose even for Senritsu. Kurapika nearly drops the entire stack of boxes containing Neon’s new designer shoes. “As it so happens, I was thinking about… a stethoscope.” 

“I’m happy for you.” Strong and beautiful, a monumental improvement over the undercurrent of war drums. 

“Only… how do I tell him? Why does Leorio even put up with me? I can barely have a normal conversation without throwing barbs and insults at him.” 

“Trust yourself. You know how to read people, Kurapika. You’ll know when the time is right.” 

***

“Just ask him, duh.” 

“It’s going to be awkward.” 

“Awkward like me shielding Gon’s innocent eyes while you make out, or awkward like being locked in a room with Tompa and his stinky feet for 50 hours?” 

“Hey! Killua! Get off me! I was talking to Kurapika too!” 

Would he really throw all caution to the wind like that? Damn it, the mental image is so crystal clear he’s already secondhand embarrassed for himself. This is what Kurapika gets for turning to a pair of twelve year olds for dating advice. At least they’re entertaining. He patiently waits until Gon is finished wrestling his ears free from Killua’s hands. By the time they’re finished roughhousing Killua is sprawled on the floor propping his head up with one hand, with all the comfort and grace of a cat caught red handed knocking a vase off the mantle. Gon is sitting on him. 

“Gon, what do you think?” 

“You’ve already shown him how strong you are, so you should sing to him next! That’s what I would do if I were a bird, or a frog, or a cricket, or even a fish! Did you know fish sing to each other underwater?” 

“Hmm. Interesting.” Singing, huh? Well, he does enjoy music. Cons: Singing has been nowhere near his list of priorities since approximately half past kindergarten. Except for- Well. He’ll just have to accept that he’s going to look stupid. Pros: His life has hung in the balance for so long it would be a relief to do something, _anything_ where looking stupid is actually the worst thing that can happen. (Not being afraid to look stupid is the first thing you learn in the Hunter Exam, right?) Also, maybe he’s a little curious to find out what Leorio’s singing voice sounds like. 

“And dancing! Birds dance for each other all the time.” Gon pantomimes a bird of paradise, flapping his arms and tipping his head sideways. 

Hearing friendly voices, Leorio pokes his head around the door frame. “What are we talking about?” His head is tipped at exactly the same angle as Gon’s, with an inquisitive expression to match. 

Kurapika’s whole face lights up with a half stifled giggle. If Leorio dances like _that_ , he may just laugh so hard he cries. 

“You.” Killua smirks. 

“ _Hey._ ” Leorio can’t pretend to scowl for very long. Has Kurapika ever greeted him with a smile like that before? Like it would be harder _not_ to smile? 

“Leorio, what would you say to a karaoke contest?” 

“Sweet! I love karaoke!” 

“Then let’s lay down some ground rules.” 

“I’m picking your songs for you,” snipes Killua. 

“If you insist on picking a song for me it’s only fair that we all pick songs for each other in addition to the songs we choose for ourselves.” 

“Deal. If you skip a song, you forfeit the round.” 

“So,” Leorio asks with increasing self-assurance, “How do we know who wins, and what’s the prize?” 

“Majority vote, with an extra song each as tiebreaker.” 

“The loser pays for dinner!” Chips in Gon. 

That’s going to cost a small fortune. Between Gon and Killua- “Winner picks the restaurant.” –Those two have been packing away calories like a den of half-starved lions. One can only wonder how much of it is going fueling their freshly awakened nen and how much is a signal of an impending growth spurt. “After karaoke I’m going to smoke all of you at DDR.” 

***

Hamming it up baby! Leorio insists on picking up the microphone first. “None of you are going to top this. Let’s see any of you beat [ The Greatest Song in the World!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lK4cX5xGiQ)” (No it isn’t, it’s just a tribute.) Gon buys it like he wasn’t kidding, while Killua rolls his eyes. More for laughs than melody, but hey, Kurapika looks suitably entertained. That has to be worth at least [another song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK8mJJJvaes) [ or two](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8tRDv9fZ_c&list=RDFn58OF_lA-Q&index=4). Still smiling, huh? “Care to give it a shot?” He presses the microphone into Kurapika’s hands next. 

Not bad. Leorio is full of surprising talents. His turn already? Kurapika is glad he was too busy chuckling at the lyrics to get caught up in staring. This is a lot more fun than he expected it to be. But what to sing… Kurapika flips through the menu for the first song that pops into his head. 

[Two songs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KmYFY5oOvM) [ later](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDZ6wju9Y4w) Killua is already beginning to connect the dots. He raises one eyebrow in Kurapika’s direction. 

“Hmm?” 

“You’re still doing your Conjurer training, right?” 

“If you mean the visualization training, it isn’t really necessary anymore because I can call up my chains whenever I need them on reflex, like a muscle memory.” And sometimes when he doesn’t. His nen has become more a part of him than his own hair. “Why?” 

“Oh, no reason.” 

Drawing the play of shadow and light, memorizing the metallic tang of steel in his nose and on his tongue, sleeping with a chain wrapped around his arm, reading about their physical and chemical properties… Oh god damn it. “They were stuck in my head.” Gon and Leorio exchange glances like they have no idea what he’s talking about. At least they don’t think he’s weird. It’s like a hidden requirement of becoming a nen user. 

“So what are you going to do for your third song?” 

In for a penny, in for a pound. Now that he’s caught himself singing about chains- “I’m going to beat the greatest song in the world.” 

“Oh no you won’t.” 

-Might as well yank everyone else’s. “Just watch me.” Kurapika knew those disguise shades were going to come in handy again at some point. He jams them on over his black contacts and dangles his Dowsing Chain in front of him for effect. He selects his third song. He takes a deep breath. [ This song doesn't appear to suit him at all and he knows it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SBN_ikibtg). Kurapika sings with a perfectly straight face until he has Killua smiling, Gon clapping, and Leorio slapping his knees. He lets the microphone drop dramatically into Killua’s waiting palms. It feels so strange, being the center of attention when he isn’t picking a fight and nobody is staring at his eyes. Kurapika waits until the butterflies settle before pulling off his shades. 

Laid back and relaxed, Killua doesn’t put a whole lot of emotion into much of the lyrics other than the chorus, but his timing is impeccable. His selection is heavy on [guitar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Xlkla4Jrbk), [drums](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udUCjJphE-0&list=PLgP_WFDJWjxSgClOt0zBSwiofDIbTLjFj&index=8), and [ rhythm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBShN8qT4lk).

By contrast Gon powers through a [handful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_N5iaMHgKU) of [Disney songs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GC_mV1IpjWA) with [ far more enthusiasm than skill](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08NlhjpVFsU). The only thing that saves it from being an unmitigated disaster is Leorio jumping in to join him just as Killua begins to stopper his ears. Wow, nostalgia. It’s the most cheerful musical selection out of all of them, a piece of childhood Kurapika forgot he was missing. 

“My turn again. Alright Gon, since it was your turn last you get to be the first to pick a song. Any requests?” 

“Hmm. Leorio, do you know any other Disney songs?” 

“Have you watched Mary Poppins?” 

“Are you going to sing A Spoonful of Sugar because you’re going to be a doctor?” 

“I could, but I had [something else](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfPtHuEEUfw) in mind.” 

_Wow_ , he makes it sound better than the original. The first round must have been a mere warm up; now Kurapika is almost as wide eyed and entranced as if Leorio had laced his singing with nen. Gon was right, but in reverse. This is unfair, and it wasn’t part of the plan. 

The real entertainment is the look on Kurapika’s face. Heh. How long is it going to be before Leorio notices that somebody wants to blow him ~~a kiss~~ and get lucky? Knowing him, it probably won’t be until about two seconds after a human-shaped bottle of pressurized emotions catapults into his lap. If only Killua had made a bet with Gon before they got here. It would have been such easy money. Dinner, ten times over. 

As Kurapika blinks as if waking from a dream, Killua decides he wants to hear some Gorillaz for [Leorio’s next song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyHNuVaZJ-k) For Leorio’s last song, Kurapika simply requests something beautiful. 

“Hey Kurapika. You’ve got a good ear, want to try singing harmony? [Sound of Silence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7McpVPlidc) doesn’t sound nearly as good without it.” 

Seriously? Torn between the extremes of yes and no, cliché and the unexpected, Kurapika defaults to the middle. “I don’t know, I’ve never tried.” 

“Take the melody then,” Leorio casually lobs at him as if it doesn’t matter either way. 

“Do iiit,” Killua stage whispers through cupped hands. The drawback of friendship is that it comes with peer pressure. 

This is either going to be amazing or terrible. Kurapika takes the plunge. Two bars later he dissolves into a peal of laughter. 

“Aw, keep going, keep going! We can still save it, come on.” 

“Can we start the song over?” 

On the second attempt, they just about manage to stumble through to the end. Kurapika’s face is on fire, but behind both hands his mouth is stuck in a grin. The world has gone a curious shade of pink. Oh shit, he wasn’t expecting to need his black contacts for _this_. He slips on his shades and excuses himself to the bathroom. Okay. Breathe. Leorio calls a ten minute break and orders everyone a round of bubble tea. What flavor even is this? It doesn’t really matter, as long as it’s ice cold and not too sweet and Leorio doesn’t dare to throw a comforting arm over his shoulder. Kurapika hopes to hell his aura looks nothing like Hisoka’s right now, and nope that snaps him back to reality like a slap in the face. It’s his turn. 

Surprisingly Gon doesn’t come out with yet another Disney request. “Your first song was pretty sad. Pick something happy this time!” So Leorio and Killua leap on the opportunity to conspire against him. 

“You just want to hear me [singing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA) [ girl](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIDWgqDBNXA) [ lyrics](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wmc8bQoL-J0), don’t you.” 

Fine. He’ll deliver, but [ Killua](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVdr_JWmnsA) [ is](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwEMbIc-3B8) [ next](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTrk4X9ACtw).

“Enya? Savage.” 

Kurapika smiles serenely, rummaging through the half melted ice at the bottom of his bubble tea. 

As a means of recovering his dignity, or possibly just to watch him trip over the lyrics, Killua chooses [Supercalifragalisticexpialodocious](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZNRzc3hWvE) for Gon next. This time Kurapika is the one who jumps in to bail him out, because oh why not. Might as well look pretentious saying it backwards while he’s at it. 

After that it takes Kurapika a suspiciously long time to pick a song he thinks is [suitably cheerful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eimgRedLkkU&list=PL1VuYyZcPYIJTP3W_x0jq9olXviPQlOe1&index=34) for Gon that isn’t yet another Disney song. Gon seems encouraged enough, although it doesn’t make a difference in the quality of his singing. 

Last of all Leorio decides to select something [a little easier](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQER0A0ej0M). “This is an old one, but it’s really catchy.” So much so that by the power of peer pressure they can even get Killua to jump in after about four rounds of naaaaaaa naaaa naaaa nanana naaaaa, like some kind of arcane incantation for banishing a room full of inner demons. 

When it comes down to the final vote, Leorio sits up straighter and preens over his unanimous win. But Kurapika won’t let Gon get stuck with the tab. After all, singing was his idea. 

***

“Your heartbeat sounds so happy I almost didn’t recognize you.” 

That’s because Kurapika is full of major chords, fond childhood memories, and all you can eat Korean barbecued short ribs. He feels inclined to bend down and give Senritsu a brief hug. Nothing more needs to be said. 

***

Killua _does_ smoke everyone at DDR, on account of the unfair advantage of having trained on it since before he could walk. “It was a prerequisite for learning the Shadow Step,” he explains with a shrug after achieving a perfect score on [Max 300](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jd3SLne_U48), backwards and upside down on the highest difficulty in double mode, without breaking a sweat. 

“Wow Killua, you’re amazing! I wanna try!” 

Leorio is too busy picking his jaw up off the floor to comment. 

“Gon, you haven’t played before either, have you?” 

“Nope!” 

“He never even heard of a JS before we opened the box with the Greed Island memory card from his dad.” 

“Then perhaps the rest of us should start with the tutorial.” 

“Oh.” 

Gon, who is not musically inclined, takes a while to get the hang of stepping on the arrows to the beat instead of attacking them by sight as soon as they get into range. But as soon as he does, he quickly surpasses Leorio’s manic hopping on everything involving an eighth note. Really, those two are fun to watch next to each other. Kurapika warms up on some easier songs to get a feel for it and manages to work his way up to about medium difficulty before Gon starts to hog the game challenging Killua over and over again until he wins. Well there goes that plan. Kurapika didn’t even get to whip his cloak off. 

“This could take a while.” 

“No kidding.” 

“Want to play Scrabble?” 

“I bet you can’t beat me in Latin.” 

Obscure knowledge in a dead language? Hell yes. “Prove it.” 

***

This is _hard_. Four boards. Double the letters in each turn. The setup doesn’t even fit on the small table and they’ve had to relocate to the floor. Leorio keeps piecing together lengthy medical terms like _encephalitis_ , _arrhythmia_ and _phagocytosis_.

“Coprophagia! Know what that means? Eating shit, like you’re about to do!” 

***

“That’s cheating! Roman numerals don’t count!” 

“What else am I supposed to do with two of the letter X?” 

“Admit defeat like a man.” 

“I demand a rematch!” 

“You’re on, loser.” 

***

One week and many, many rematches later, to the soundtrack of Gon matching Killua beat for beat on [Cartoon Heroes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JUvmzvFpgU), [321 Stars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py0QzWXU_mc), and [Follow the Sun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnZFb8WXoJQ), Kurapika stares down at his meagre assortment of letters and realizes that he has nothing left to spell. 

This is infuriating. 

And- _so much pink_ \- devastatingly attractive. 

As he looks up at the smart, silly, funny, caring, _annoying_ object of his affections, the part of his brain that’s good at making snap decisions and very bad at impulse control concludes that the best way to wipe that smug grin off Leorio’s face is with _his_ face. He grabs Leorio by his necktie and crushes their mouths together. Wooden letters scatter all over the place. Good thing Killua is too focused on attempting to keep Gon under his heel in Endless Mode to notice he was exactly right. 

That grin? Still in full force. “Does this mean you give up?” 

“Echocardiogram my left eye.” 

“You’ve never been kissed before, have you?” How could he? Kurapika is generally so defensive he slices everyone who gets close enough to look at him funny. All the more reason to do this properly. 

He rolls off in a hurry and sits bolt upright, balling both hands into fists. “Was that too forward? I’m sorry, Leorio. I should have asked first.” 

“It’s fine. So tense, geeze.” Leorio puts away his skewed sunglasses and pulls him back into range. 

His lips are so warm and soft and kind. In that first instant of panic, it hadn’t even registered. Kurapika lets Leorio pry his fingers open one by one until he finds himself clinging the instant Leorio moves to let go. 

“There. Now you have.” He leans in closer, to murmur in Kurapika’s ear: “Want to get out of here?” 

“Leorio,” Kurapika takes his contacts out, blinking up at him accusingly with irises like the petals of a carnation. “I… think you should drive.” 

Uh. Are they supposed to be that color? “Yeah, I think I’d better. Last one to pick up all the Scrabble pieces is a rotten egg!” 

**Author's Note:**

> Please click on the links. I spent way too long searching for suitable karaoke songs (and I tried to pick them mostly pre-2011). Then it took me about five tries to get all the dang links to work because it turns out I was using the wrong character for quotation marks. =_=
> 
> Credit to Fuzzythemighty (not sure if she's on AO3) for the Coprophagia line. Too good not to use.
> 
> Karaoke Playlist:
> 
> Leorio  
> Tenacious D - Tribute  
> Macklemore - Thrift Shop  
> Weird Al Yancovic - Everything You Know Is Wrong  
> Mary Poppins - Bank of Harmony barbershop quintet- Mary Poppins - Chim Cher-ee / Feed The Birds  
> Gorrilaz - Feel Good Inc.  
> Simon and Garfunkel - Sound of Silence
> 
> Kurapika  
> Alice In Chains - Stone  
> P!nk - Feel Good Time  
> Jibbs - Chain Hang Low  
> Miley Cyrus - Party in the U.S.A.  
> Christina Aguilera - Genia In A Bottle  
> Destiny's Child - Survivor
> 
> Killua  
> Soul Coughing - Super Bon Bon  
> Goldfinger - Superman (Tony Hawk pro Skateboard lol)  
> Beastie Boys - You Gotta Fight For Your Right To Party  
> Britney Spears - Toxic  
> Inna - 10 Minutes  
> Enya - Orinoco Flow
> 
> Gon  
> The Lion King - I Just Can't Wait To Be King  
> The Little Mermaid - Under The Sea  
> The Jungle Book - Bear Necessities  
> Mary Poppins - Supercalifragalisticexpialodocious  
> Empire of the Sun - Walking On A Dream (I had a really hard time picking a song for this one)  
> The Beatles - Hey Jude.
> 
> Bonus: here's the [Anvil Chorus from Verdi's Il Traviatore](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RwPx58q5Aw)


End file.
